Love-hate-pathetic

I think I have this kind of love-hate relationship with my blog.

I mean, one moment I feel like ripping this whole blog and start anew.

And another time, I changed my template because I think that my previous template doesn't look sophisticated enough (I am a big girl now, you see).

And some other time, I feel like screaming to my face "Just use this goddamn blog. Nobody is reading it anyway!"

Ah... Now, that is, everyone, the story of my pathetic blogging life. I never had a niche to blog about. I can't stick to the same name. I don't know how I want my template to be. And on top of all, I don't even know why I start blogging at the very first place. I mean, it's not like I have something (or anything) to write about! I mean (again), I do have like zillions of things running and swimming maniacally in my head right now, but I can't somehow find words to express them. Ah, I am so pathetic!

I'll just leave this whole mess here. I think I am in the mood to work on the finger puppets for Aisya.

Au revoir!

After a while

Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah. My little Aisya turns three (months) today. Looking back at how things were three months ago, I still couldn't believe myself. How merciful Allah is for rewarding me with this chance to mother my beautiful Aisya.

Things have changed a lot ever since. I quit my job. I (We - Aisya and I) moved to Kuala Lumpur. My husband and I finally share the same roof and we actually have to pay the rent. It is, honestly, beyond my imagination. There are a few negative vibes lurking around here and there tho. And I am trying hard to tighten the grasp and keep holding on.

I know it's been a while since I last posted here. And I owe my blog a loadful of stories. I will try to pen out everything if I can still remember the details. Well, we will see!

Speaking of posting and blog, I have made an oath (so to say). Whatever I write here, will one day be read by Aisya. If Allah decides to take me away before I have the chance to tell her the telenovela of my life, at least she will have this to reminisce me. I must say, I am kind of inspired by Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Haha. But really, I want Aisya to read this one day. 

It's 40 minutes past eleven and I really need to start trying to sleep as I need to get up early for sahoor. I will write more, in shaa Allah. 

Love vs Marriage

I found this while browsing through my Facebook's newsfeed and I believe that it has been nicely composed hence the sharing!

"Difference in Love and Marriage”

A student asks a teacher, “What is love?” The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders… may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one… But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, “this is love… You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person…”

“What is marriage then?” the student asked. The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher. The teacher told him, “This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get… This is marriage.”

Winter trip - Lossential! (Lotion Essential)

Greetings all the way from Anyang, South Korea!

Anhyeong! Or however it is being spelled.

It's freaking cold where I am staying at at the moment. Being a tropical girl, I have never experienced such extreme weather and I must admit that I am loving it, except for the times that I have to put on layers of clothes before going out and dry skin. Yes, dry skin is probably my numero uno enemy here. I hate to see it exfoliates and develops into extreme itchiness. No, this is so not cool. So, my advice for those who are planning or thinking about going for a winter trip, always ALWAYS ALWAYS pack your lotion. If possible, choose the one that is specially designed for dry skin. My first trip to South Korea was during the late autumn. It was cold but not too cold. We are talking about 5-7 Celsius kind of cold. And being the reckless me, I didn't pack any lotion except a small bottle of Vaseline, courtesy of my habit of having one in my handbag.

On my third day of staying, my skin started to feel very itchy and again, being the reckless me, I proudly scratched them. It felt so damn good. At least, that was how I feel at that moment. The next day, I woke up with redness, more itchiness and bumps on skin. And those things, they hurt! I had to apply multiple layers of vaseline on them every hour. The itchiness was still there but Vaseline somehow helped to soothe it down a bit.

Then, good things happened. After ten days of suffering, husband has to return to KL because his customer there WANTED him to be there for them. So, we returned home. My skin healed but there were severe scratch marks all over me. And they are not pretty.

A week after that, husband and I resumed our interrupted journey of love (and work) at South Korea. We went back there and this time around, winter has already started. It is much colder than it was when we left South Korea but I came prepared. I packed my Vaseline, Rosken Lotion for Dry Skin, Soap & Glory Body Butter for Extra Dry Skin and Palm's Cocoa Butter for my tummy (to prevent stretch marks caused by pregnancy). I am so relieved to know that up to date (it's been ten days since we landed in South Korea), my skin is still pretty well preserved. I still develop itchiness and my skin still dries out but things are not as bad as it used to be, thanks to Almighty!

So, yes, if you are planning for a winter trip, pack along your lotions please. Bring as much as you need. Believe me, lotions are way more important than your fancy clothes. Because you can always buy fancy clothes at the country that you're visiting (think of this as a very good excuse to shop) but lotions are essential as you may need them in the middle of the night when all the shops are closed.

And lastly, have fun!

Surprise! Surprise!

You know how the saying goes, 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away'?

But the kind of apple that I'm having right now is drawing me even closer to the medic team.

Yes, I'm talking about my soon-to-be apple of my eyes.
My little baby!

So, yes, there is a bun in the oven - I am pregnant!!!
It's been couples of weeks now. In fact, I just passed through the threshold of the second trimester and it feels so damn good.

I lost my appetite during the first trimester. I mean, it totally deflated. I had no desire to eat. I hated seeing food. I couldn't stand the smell of it, especially the fried ones. I felt nauseous. I threw up every now and then but luckily for me, it didn't evolve to become my daily habits. Phewww.. I hated my own perfume, my husband's perfume and for the first few weeks, the smell of my husband somehow irked me. Fortunately, I managed to put that under control. Weeee~

And oh yes, I hated and still hate KFC and McDonald's. I don't know why but I hate them so much to the extent that I can't stand looking at their signboards. Which is good for both me and little baby as I read somewhere saying that fast food can actually cause jaundice among newborns. It wasn't from a medical research so I don't know how true the fact is but prevention is better than cure, ain't it?

Being pregnant is one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me. Truth be told, the little baby does come as a surprise. A very pleasant surprise, indeed. Husband has been dying to have his own kids. He even told me that before he courted me! I, on the other hand, always told my husband (my boyfriend/fiance of that time) that I wanted to keep things slow. I would rather spend the first year of our marriage together seeing that we rarely had a chance to date back then. But Almighty has a different plan for us. And despite my earlier plan, I am very grateful to see the result of my UPT. Husband, of course, is so thrilled. Once, he accompanied me to see my gynecologist. He was amazed to see the ultrasound image of the little baby. It has taken its shape and couldn't stop kicking around. Husband walked out of the examination room with a wide grin plastered on his face. And as for me, there is no word to describe how happy I was to see him walking on cloud nine like that.

Thank you Allah for this little surprise that brings so much joy to our family.

May everything cruise smoothly.

Aameen. ;)

I'm Falling For You - Chester See

So this is I'm Falling For You by Chester See.

This song is very close to me. Husband and I, we have been friends for God knows how long. And it has always been 'just friends' among us. We share secrets, even the dark ones!I had him coming ranting to me about his exes. And I cried (figuratively, not literally of course!) to him as I asked for some love advises. He was my Dr. Love and vice versa. God knows what kind of advises that I gave him. LOL. I even, at one point of our friendship, addressed him as my 'YM boyfriend'. But we didn't fall into each other until a couple of years later and thanks God for making it mutual.

The good thing about falling for your own secret keeper is the fact that you have absolutely (or almost) no secrets to be ashamed of. You know him/her deep down to the core and it is just simply beautiful.

At least I know he still loves me for who I am, even after those stupid breakdowns. Blergh.

Exstaketation

You know, when you bring 50 bucks to a shop and the shopkeeper tells you that with that particular amount of money, you can only bring home one lousy small and rusty handbag, you will feel very frustrated. There is a fat chance that you will even hate the shopkeeper and swear not to return to his shop ever again. Because deep down, you know that with that money, you deserve something more exquisite than a lousy and rusty small handbag.

On the contrary, if you bring 50 cents to a shop and the shopkeeper tells you that with that little amount of money, you can only bring home a plastic bag, you will feel very grateful. And there is a fat chance that you will thank the shopkeeper for giving you the opportunity to at least have the plastic bag.

Yes, can you see what I am trying to impose here? Putting something at stake usually comes with an expectation. The bigger the stake gets, the bigger the expectation will be.

Good night.

Superdaddy Turns Twenty :p

Selamat hari lahir, Ayahanda. You're now a year wiser, fatter and richer than you were back in 2012. May Allah grant you paradise, accept your good deeds and forgive your transgressions. May His blessing, happiness and joy find you, and may all your dreams come true. 

Hadiah tunggu next year eh? Kakak tgh proses lg ni. Muahahaha. 

I love you, my first love, my first superhero. I always do. ;)

muaaahhhhhhhxxx!